Jay calls up the doc at 2 AM. \u201cDoc, my wife is having severe abdomen pain. I think it\u2019s her appendix.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat nonsense!\u201d says the doc sleepily.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cI took out your wife\u2019s appendix two years ago. Go back to sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Five minutes later, the phone rings and it\u2019s Jay again. \u201cDoc, I\u2019m sure it\u2019s her appendix.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cOh God!\u201d the doctor groaned.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ever hear of anyone having a second appendix?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cNo\u2026,\u201d says Jay. \u201cBut I\u2019m sure you must have heard of someone having a second wife..!!!!\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
==============================================<\/p>\n
A blonde brought her baby to a doctor. After examining, the doctor right away determined that the baby had an earache.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He wrote a prescription for eardrops. In the directions he wrote, \u201cPut two drops in right ear every four hours\u201d and he abbreviated \u201cright\u201d as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the blonde returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Put two drops in R ear every four hours. ==============================================<\/p>\n
Doctor Simon is known throughout London as one of the best consultants on arthritis. He always has a waiting room full of people who need his advice and specialist treatment.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
One day, an elderly lady, slowly struggles into his waiting room. She is completely bent over and leans heavily on her walking stick. A chair is found for her.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Eventually, her turn comes to go into Doctor Simon\u2019s office. 15 minutes later, to everyone\u2019s surprise, she comes briskly out of his room walking almost upright. She is holding her head high and has a smile on her face.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
A woman in the waiting room says, \u201cIt\u2019s unbelievable, a miracle even. You walk in bent in half and now you walk out erect. What a fantastic doctor he is.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Tell me, what did Doctor Simon do to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cMiracle, shmiracle, he just gave me a longer walking stick.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
==============================================<\/p>\n
Two doctors, Dean and Gable, are treating a man with lung disease. They\u2019re explaining how his sm.o.king w*d has led to his condition worsening. \u201cBut it\u2019s just herbal!\u201d the patient protested.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow can it be bad?\u201d Dr. Jenkins sighed. \u201cNature isn\u2019t all innocent.<\/p>\n
Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden \u2013 if you sit under it for just 5 minutes, you will die. Just because it\u2019s natural doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s safe for you!\u201d<\/p>\n
The man seemed to accept that, and promised to stop his smoking.<\/p>\n
After he left, the doctors went to lunch. As they were sitting down to eat, Dr. Smith asked, \u201cOh by the way, what IS that plant that kills you if you sit under it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA water lily.\u201d<\/p>\n
==============================================
Oliver`s wife, Amelia, and kids all came down with the flu.<\/p>\n
Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife. After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor. The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her.<\/p>\n
She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days. Oliver went ballistic and yelled into the phone, \u201cThree days?! The doctor can`t see her for three days?!<\/p>\n
She could be dead by then!\u201d<\/p>\n
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, \u201cIf so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jay calls up the doc at 2 AM. \u201cDoc, my wife is having severe abdomen pain. I think it\u2019s her appendix.\u201d \u201cWhat nonsense!\u201d says the doc… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1863,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3564","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3564"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3564\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3566,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3564\/revisions\/3566"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1863"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/toppressnews.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}