A police officer pulls over a car full of old women.
She responds, “Isn’t the speed limit 33?”
Laughing, the cop says, “No, man, this is Highway 33. That’s not the speed limit.”
He looks into the back of the car, and the women are frightened. He asks, “What’s wrong with them?”
…
..
.
The lady says, “I don’t know. We just came off Highway 144.”
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A man is talking to his best friend about married life.
“You know,” he says, “I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there’s always that doubt.”
His friend says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
A couple of weeks later the man has to go out of town on business. Before he goes, he gets together with his friend.
“While I’m away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there’s always that doubt.”
The friend agrees to help out, and the man leaves town.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets his friend.
“So did anything happen?”
“I have some bad news for you,” says the friend.
“The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt. Then she took off her blouse. Then they turned off the light.”
“Then what happened?” says the man.
“I don’t know. It was too dark to see.”
“Damn, you see what I mean? There’s always that doubt.”
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On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’“ and he left.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven?
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple. “Oh, come on!,” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”
