They Call Me Ungrateful Because I Won’t Give Them Money — I Call It Self-Respect

When I told my parents I wouldn’t be giving them money, they called me ungrateful. My mom said, “We struggled so you could have a better life.” But the truth is, I never had a better life growing up. I spent most of my childhood worrying about bills, food, and whether the lights would stay on.

Now that I finally earn a decent living, I’ve decided to protect my savings instead of trying to fix the damage caused by their choices. Hi, thank you for reading my story! Please tell me if I’m in the wrong here because it’s been weighing on my mind.

My parents were already poor when they decided to bring two children into the world. They always said we were “just going through a rough patch” and that things would eventually get better. But that “rough patch” lasted my entire childhood.

We lived in humiliating poverty. Birthdays were nothing more than simple meals at home—no gifts, no parties, just a hug and maybe a handmade card. My dad jumped from one petty job to another, never able to land anything stable or well-paying.

My mom used to paint, but after having kids, she mostly stayed home. We had no savings, no sense of security—just a constant cycle of stress and scarcity. While other kids went on Disney trips, I was learning how to budget and stretch food supplies.

People like to say growing up poor teaches you appreciation, but for me, it only taught how exhausting it is to live in survival mode every single day. I wanted out. I studied hard, took extra classes after school, and worked part-time jobs just to have a bit of pocket money.

As soon as I could, I moved out. Now, in my late 20s, I’m a doctor with financial stability for the first time in my life. It took years of college, student loans, sleepless nights, and relentless effort, but I’m proud of what I’ve achieved.

Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving my younger sister behind—she’s five years younger—but I remind myself that she’s not my responsibility, and neither are my parents. When my parents found out I was doing well, I got a call from my mom. She begged for money, saying, “Dad’s sick!

Please help.” I was startled at first, but then I steadied myself and said no. It felt like they were trying to drag me back into the same financial hole I’d worked so hard to escape. I knew that if I gave in once, they’d never stop asking.

A few days later, my sister called me—and what she told me made my blood run cold. My dad wasn’t sick at all. He was being harassed by loan sharks.

Apparently, about twenty years ago, he had taken out a home loan to buy our small flat and cover basic needs like schooling and food. Over the years, he kept borrowing more to pay bills, make repairs, and who knows what else. He never finished paying it off, and the debt had spiraled out of control.

Now collectors were showing up at their door, demanding payment. My own mother had lied to me just to get money. I wasn’t shocked that my dad had debts—I was shocked that they thought deceiving me was acceptable.

I called my mom, and she broke down in tears. She said they’d been struggling for months, but Dad didn’t want to ask me for help. She had secretly called me, hoping I’d be more sympathetic if I thought Dad was sick.

My younger sister, it turns out, had already been helping them financially for years. I know it might sound harsh, but I can’t take responsibility for decades of bad financial decisions. They had plenty of time to manage their money better, but they didn’t.

Honestly, they should never have had kids—or at least stopped after one. But no. They wanted a big family they couldn’t afford.

So now I ask myself: is it fair to expect financial support from a child who grew up in poverty because of their parents’ poor choices? Source: brightside.me