My Husband Wanted to Date Other People—Now He Regrets It

Relationships grow, shift, and occasionally fracture under the strain of unexpressed fears and unfulfilled needs. As open marriages and nontraditional relationship styles become more widely acknowledged, many who venture into them may not fully grasp what they’re committing to — or the emotional impact that can follow. One woman unexpectedly became entangled in a love triangle she hadn’t intended to form… and the aftermath forced her to reevaluate everything she thought she knew.

“I said ’yes’ because I loved him.”

When my husband first brought up the idea of an open marriage, it felt like the floor dropped out from under me. It wasn’t a conversation, it was an ultimatum. Open marriage or divorce.

I loved him. I still do. So I said yes.

An unexpected twist of fate

For the first few months, I barely dipped my toes into the dating pool. But eventually, I met someone. And not just anyone — Ben, my husband’s best friend.

Six months later, we started dating. At first, it felt harmless. Ben was charming, attentive, and familiar in the way that only someone who already knows your family can be.

We went out a few times. We kissed. My husband resented it but stayed silent.

But somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like an experiment and started feeling like a connection. What I didn’t expect was for Ben to come over one evening and drop a bomb I wasn’t ready for. A confession and its aftermath

Last week, Ben sat in our living room — the same room where he’d celebrated holidays and birthdays with us — and said the words that shattered the illusion of control, “I’ve always been in love with you.

Even before any of this.”

I watched the color drain from my husband’s face. He was silent at first, but the silence didn’t last. He stood up, furious.

Accusing Ben of betrayal, waiting, taking advantage of the situation. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t known.

Now he wants me back but can we ever go back? Later that night, my husband finally broke down. He admitted he had made a mistake, that he never really thought I would find someone else — especially not someone so close.

He said he was scared of losing me for good. He wants to work things out. He says we can go back.

Close the marriage. Heal and try again. But can we?

I’m torn between loyalty and my feelings. I never wanted to hurt anyone. Not my husband, not Ben.

I followed my heart the best way I knew how in a situation I never asked for. But now I’m left holding the pieces of two relationships — and I’m unsure which one, if any, can be put back together.