A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed when, suddenly, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager.

The manager says he’ll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true. “Look, lie here on the bed and you’ll be thrown right to the floor!” she tells him, So he lies down next to the wife.

Just then the husband walks in. “What,” he says, “what are you doing here?!”

The manager calmly replies: “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”

A young couple were on their honeymoon and were staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride donned a new bikini that she had recently purchased.

As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that the bikini was too large, and the top and bottom kept coming off. As they were the only ones in the pool, she and her husband would laugh and playfully retrieve the bikini from the pool’s bottom. That evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel’s elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium.

Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life. When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, “That’s not an aquarium…that’s the swimming pool!”

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him,

“If there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.”

He responded, “Sure.

You carry the suitcases!”

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks, they came back and finally opened all the presents they had received from friends and family. Since this was a new house, the process took some time.

A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a very popular show. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the host. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, “Guess who sent them?”

The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort.

They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: “Now you know!”