8 Hilarious Blonde Stories That Will Make You Laugh, Smile, and Shake Your Head at Everyday Absurdities – Pickup Trucks, Rowboats, Cocktail Olives, Salt Trucks, and Other Comical Misadventures Featuring Blondes in Outrageous Situations That Keep Humor Alive

 

 

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

 

The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

 

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

 

“All right.

 

How long do you need them?”

 

The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”

 

After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”

 

A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, a blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, “Mr.

 

you’re losing part of your load”. She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver’s window, “Mr.

 

you’re losing part of your load.”

 

The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver’s window, before she could say anything, the driver said,

 

“MA’AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I’M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK…….”

 

A blonde in a bar is hunched over her martini spearing at the olive with a cocktail stick. A dozen times the olive eludes her until a man sitting next to her grabs the stick and skewers it for her. ‘That’s the way to do it,’ he says.

 

‘Big deal,’ replies the blonde. ‘You’d never have got it unless I’d tired it out first.’

 

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, “You know,it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”

 

To this, the other blonde replies, “I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her.”

 

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

 

First Blonde: “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”

 

Second Blonde: “Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”

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